Jokes! And riddles, funny stuff etc.

I very hastily published this, so that it would show up in the Khiyaliaravinda Year-end Report.  But now it is published, and I shall tell you why I put this here.

I’ve been meaning to put a jokes page on this blog for a long time, but I am finally doing it now.  Well, this is a page with jokes on it!  (NOTE:  If you go to http://www.murderousmaths.co.uk/ and take the Mystery Tour, you might just find ANOTHER jokes page!  I could give you directions, but I won’t…  Find it yourself!)


A riddle for people who are a bit politicsy:
***You should have a tiny bit of knowledge about the parties* in India***
Once upon a time in the land of the Delhi elections, there lived a woman who was the head of a political party*.  She wanted to find out whether her party would win or not.  By some miracle she managed to ask every single voter in Delhi which party they had voted for.  She went home very happy, convinced she would win.  In the morning, when they announced the results, she got a HUGE shock and fainted.  Her party had lost.  VERY badly.
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???  (All the people told the truth.)
For a clue, drag your mouse between the |s below.

|Every person the lady asked said, “Oh, aap ko vote kia!”.  (Aap ko vote kia means, “I voted for you.  ‘Aap’ means ‘you’ in hindi.)|

Solution:  |As I said in the clue, every person the lady asked said, “Oh, aap ko vote kia!”.  (Aap ko vote kia means, “I voted for you.  ‘Aap’ means ‘you’ in hindi.) But guess what?  Aap, as well as being a respectful term for ‘you’ also is the short form for the Aam Aadmi Party! The Aam Aadmi Party won the election, not the other lady’s party.|

*Not a birthday party! 😉


There are 10 types of people in the world.  Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.  (if you don’t understand binary, you should know that 10 in binary = 2 in decimal, which is the usual system we use.)

Once all your friends get tired of that one, you can tell then this:

There are 10 types of people in the world.  Those who understand binary, those who don’t, and those who didn’t expect this joke to be in base three.
These jokes and more are explained here.

And I thought of another:

There are 10 types of people in the world:  Those who understand binary, those who don’t, those who thought this joke would be in base three… and the other seven.


Q: What do politics and exercise have in common?
A: | They both involve running — in politics you run for office, in exercise for fitness. |


For science-y jokes, look at this list: http://www.tickld.com/x/20-best-science-jokes-ever-12-took-me-a-minute


There is a song called the Hokey Pokey and it is as follows:

You put your left foot in,
You put your left foot out,
You put your left foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey,
And you turn yourself around,
That’s what it’s all about!

Then you repeat with your other foot, and your hands, etc.  But how would it have been if Shakespeare had written it?

(Aravinda found this on Grammarly.com's Facebook page)

(Aravinda found this image on Grammarly.com’s Facebook page.)

Try having someone recite that while you dance!


Hindi is so weird.  Everything is cheese.  (get it?  cheez?)

And Telugu is even worse!  They call everyone undie!  (get it? undies?  undie?)


So we were on our way to the Maker Faire in Silver Spring.  Some people were sitting on the sidewalk with a sign that said “International Krishna Consciousness” and singing.

ME: Why are they singing?
AMMA: They want you to be conscious of Krishna.
ME: Why?
AMMA: Well, if he steals your butter, you should be conscious of him, right?

 

5 Responses to Jokes! And riddles, funny stuff etc.

  1. Parinita says:

    Oh my! Khiyali:) You made me laugh so much! Nice joke. You’re right, when she said “Maine Aap Ko Vote Kia”-she also meant she voted-Aam Aadmi Party because she said Aap!

    😀
    -Pari

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