Throwing off poetry

There is a mystery book by Enid Blyton called The Mystery of the Vanished Prince.  It features the Five Find-Outers and Dog.

In the book, there is a boy called Ern*, who tries to write poetry, or ‘portry’, as he calls it.  He reads the other children his new poem (or, as he says, ‘pome’):

A pore old gardener said, “Ah me!
My days is almost done,
I’ve got rheumatics…”

And he says that he got stuck there, and that it had taken him two hours and twenty-one minute to get that far.

Then Fatty (a Find-Outer, real name Frederick) says, ‘Yes, I can tell it would be a good pome….  It goes like this, Ern.’

And then Fatty just spouts out a whole poem:

A pore old gardener said, “Ah me!
My days is almost done,
I’ve got rheumatics in my knee,
And now it’s hard to run.
I’ve got a measle in my foot,
And chilblains on my nose,
And bless me if I haven’t got
Pneumonia in my toes.
All my hair has fallen out,
My teeth have fallen in,
I’m really getting rather stout,
Although I’m much too thin.
My nose is deaf, my ears are dumb,
My tongue is tied in knots,
And now my barrow and my spade
Have all come out in spots.
My watering can is…”

Here he gets cut off by the others laughing.  He says he was just coming to where the watering can was feeling washed out, and the spade was feeling on edge!  He says Ern works too hard on his poems, and that you should just throw them off.

So I tried it.  I ended up with something like this:

CAT, RAT, BAT, AND MAT:

The Cat sat on the Mat.
The Mat covered a Rat.
The Rat saw the Cat.
The Cat saw the Rat.
So the Rat was chased by the Cat.
The Rat saw a Bat.
So the Bat helped the Rat.
The Bat picked up the Mat,
And dropped it on the Cat.
The Cat clawed at the Mat.
So ran away the Rat.
The Cat then chased the Bat.
The Bat did ask the Cat,
“What would you have done, Cat,
If you’d caught the Rat?”
So said the Cat,
“I would have eaten that Rat.”
So said the Bat,
“Then what would you chase? The Mat?”

(Then the Cat decided to just hit the Rat, if it caught it.)

*(Not a Find-Outer.)

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This entry was posted in By Khiyali, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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